What to Watch Winter 2013 edition

The new fall shows came and went more or less with a whimper.  I am not watching a single new show that premiered in the fall (well, unless you count American Horror Story: Asylum as "new," but I'll discuss that one later...)

Some of the winter debuts seem more promising.  Such as Law & Order: Special Victorian Unit on BBC America.  Oops, I mean Ripper Street.  I loathe Downton Abbey.  But I love British police procedurals, and BBC has a ton of pretty creative shows.  For instance, I loved The Fades.

If you have not seen that series, then you are truly missing out. Of course, once you fall for its charms, you'll be hungry for more, and then denied because the Brits canceled it after one season.  Yep, Planet Bunheads.

So, back to BBC's SVU show, Ripper Street.  The premiere episode plays a little with motion picture history, as it foregrounds the fact that almost every technological advancement was/is driven by pornography.  This sordid milieu allows the show's women to be almost entirely prostitutes or "models," which got my eyes rolling.  The detective work is performed by a bunch of guys in snappy period attire (see above), and if it's anything like that Gangs of NY wannabe show, Copper, I'll be losing interest fast.  The other issue is that BBC America, like IFC, does not come in High-Def for us, so, as my partner succinctly stated, "it's like watching the radio."  Yeah, we're spoiled.

I'm mostly liking Kevin Bacon's new show, The Following, especially because it stars Kevin Bacon.  That man can act.  The weight of the world is in those eyes, although we do not really need another flawed guy genius detective/agent show.  We just don't.  Still, the idea of serial killers having cult followings, especially via the internet, is pretty fascinating.  James Purefoy, though?  Milquetoast.  I do not see why anyone would follow this guy.  And I am so over the Edgar Allen Poe crap.  That part of the series is so unnecessary, as if some high school English teacher got a job as one of the writers on the show, and thought that this hackneyed connection between Poe and death was "new."  Perhaps new to Two and a Half Men watchers who get him confused with Stephen King.  Yeah, Snark.

Anyway, both of these shows are unfortunately filled with dead and victimized women, so in order to balance out these shows, there's Continuum--brought to us by the same Canadian geniuses who brought us Lost Girl.

Canada doesn't seem to have a problem with women as the stars of their procedurals, and this fact, amongst many others, would be reason enough to move there.  Rachel Nichols' "Keira" is a badass, and so far this show is wildly satisfying even though it contains that dreaded TIME TRAVEL element.  (Really, the only person who should be allowed to time travel is Dr. Who and the people on Warehouse 13).  As a synopsis, the government in 2077 has been bought out and taken over by corporations.  They have their own police force, known as protectors.  As the series begins, a group of domestic terrorists are about to be executed, and Protector Keira is on the floor guarding them.  One of them smuggles in some techno gizmo and zap, she's tossed back to 2012 with only a nifty tech skin suit as a link to the future.  The ideological ambiguity stems from the idea that corporations are bad, and the desire to change the past in order to prevent their powerful ascension is a good one.  Yet, that desire is carried out by a bunch of nasty criminal thugs, and Keira's hellbent on killing them.  Hmmm.  She has a husband and kid in the future, but she thankfully doesn't spend all her time moping over them.  Oh and the show also stars The Cigarette Smoking Man (William B. Davis) as a corporate guy from the future who Keira befriends in the past.  Pretty cool.

I always watch one show that's completely vapid and embarrassing, and I just do not care.  I watched Gossip Girl for a bit, but it was just too terrible.  Then Revenge, which also was pretty awful.  Now I'm onto The Carrie Diaries which is all about the lives of teenagers in 1984.  No, it's not a dystopian show, but it's not entirely "double plus ungood" either.  I watch the show for the soundtrack, the fashion, and the City (NY circa mid-to-late 80s).  I also subscribed to Interview magazine and dreamed about NYC then, and the sights and sounds of those times give me quite a bit of nostalgic pleasure.  We'll see how long New Order can sustain me.  One thing, though.  These kids do not talk like they are from the 80s.  Kids sound different now, and these kids sound like 2012, except for the token cool denizens of the Downtown NY scene.  We'll see how long I last.

RETURNING SHOWS

Justified is always worth returning to, especially because Timothy Olyphant is smoking hot as Raylan Givens.  He's also great in The Crazies (2010) and The Perfect Getaway (2009), but I first spotted him as a smoking hot drug dealer in Go (1999), where he makes out with Katie Holmes to a Massive Attack song.  Yes, I am a fan of this man.  His name will always be preceded by "smoking hot" for whatever role he has.  Yet, he is often outshone by Walton Goggins, as Boyd Crowder, who thankfully has enough of his own storyline now to not steal all of Tim's scenes.  Although, each season, the incredible guest stars on the show steal plenty of scenes as well.  Margo Martindale, Mykelti Williamson, Neil McDonough, Jere Burns.  This list goes on and on.

Of course, I'm thrilled that Bunheads is back, and in the first episode, Fanny retrieves Michelle from the Nevada Hinterlands where, after macing the entire ballet school, she has been forced to survive by joining a cheesy, terrible magic act.  An act in which both of the "assistants" wear tight jumpsuits and top hats, and throw glitter confetti on the magician.  Very sad.  This television show is so damn impossibly quirky that I am expecting the axe to drop after every episode.  Amy Sherman-Palladino brings back uptight but wonderful Liza Weil (Paris from The Gilmore Girls) as the marvelous Millie.  Also, the new kids in town are simply awesome.  If you need a smile, this show and Parks and Recreation should do it for you.

Then there is American Horror Story: Asylum.  This show is the WTF show.  I utter those words repeatedly whenever I watch it.  I can only take it in small doses, since the series is so over-the-top, bat sh** nuts, week after week, that I need regular breaks.  What is NOT happening on this show???  Demon possession?  Check.  Cannibalism and genetic mutations?  Check.  Nazis and Medical Experiments?  Check.  Serial Killers and Space Aliens?  Check. Check. Check!!!  I forgot to mention homicidal Santas and evil Nuns.  This show is the very definition of excess, and that's probably a good thing, since if I took the time to actually examine the politics of this show, my head would surely explode.  I can say that about every Ryan Murphy show I've ever watched, though.  This show is the car crash you cannot peel your eyes away from, yet it simultaneously makes you never, ever want to drive.  Perhaps this is the show about which I am truly embarrassed.  Bah.  No shame.

Lost Girl is back, and our favorite bisexual succubus has finally made a romantic decision.  And the winner is: TEAM LAUREN!  Wooo!  Of course, this turn of events will be temporary, but who cares.  Plenty of gorgeous super-natural sex abounds on this Canadian show, and that's why one tunes in--if not for one of the most wonderfully represented female friendships on television.  Kenzi and Bo are unstoppable.  Sure, this show is goofy and hokey, but blows True Blood out of the water.

Planet Bunheads

Yesterday I did one of my favorite things in the world.  I went to this giant outdoor used book store--seriously, it has a series of outbuildings--and I bought a ton of used books.  So happy!  As I stood at the checkout, I eavesdropped on a conversation between two young women working the "till."  They were discussing a certain series regarding Shades of Gray and how concerned they were by the message these books conveyed to young women (and heck, older ones too).  They couldn't wrap their brains around why these books were so popular, and how they even got published.  Used bookstore snobs.  Love 'em!

Anyway, in my infinite wisdom as a feminist academic I said, "I've just come to accept that these people (who like "X") are from, and on, another planet.  We are not on that planet."  Now this attitude is not apathy talking.  My mission in life is to bring people to my planet!  No, I'm really not a proponent of John Gray (or Christian Gray for that matter).  I just know that people who like Charlie Sheen, think that there's a difference between "rape" and "forcible rape," and care about the Kardashians are not on my planet.  Could they be someday?  Maybe.

I can pretty much guarantee that these people are not on Planet Bunheads.  At this point, very few people reside on Planet Bunheads--far too few, in fact.  Even my cool sister and feminist stepdaughter both responded with "You want me to watch that?" when I tried to convince them to give this truly awesome, witty and wonderful show a chance.  The show, written and created by the queen of witty pop culture banter, Amy Sherman-Palladino, just aired its summer finale on ABC Family last night and I cried a little.  Because I thought that it was canceled.  Because almost all the shows I love get canceled far too quickly.  (In fact, this line is my partner's mantra when we watch Bunheads.  A truly amazing scene unfolds, and his next breath is "they are going to cancel this show.  It's too good).  I found out that they're giving the show 8 more measly episodes to air in 2013 (whereas FX promised that a**hole over at Anger Management 90 episodes), but I think Bunheads deserves much, much more.  Here's why:

1. The Characters are Likeable and Full of Joy

Unlike a certain multiple Emmy-nominated series written and created by L. Dunham, the humiliations that these young (and older) women endure are always tempered by laughter, sensitivity, compassion and thoughtfulness.  These characters are flawed too.  Michelle Sims (played by Sutton Foster) is somewhat of a flibbertigibbet in the Lorelei Gilmore mode, and does dumb things sometimes, but laughs at herself, helps others, and actually cares and thinks about other people.  Her helpfulness is at times misguided, but she has really good friends and a really big heart.  That's why when Michelle accidentally maced all the bunheads performing the Nutcracker for their big summer recital you still love her.  Yes, you read that right; macing dancers and Nutcracker during summer are just a couple of reasons why the show is so great.

2.  The Show is about Friendships and Relationships between Women

Bunheads has guys in it, and they are often considered romantically.  Yet truly, this show is a woman's world and these guys just happen to live in it.  The show repeatedly passes the Bechdel test, even though it spends all of its time with hetero women (not as queer or racially diverse as I'd like, but I'll give it some time).  How many shows do you know that kill off the main love interest in the first episode to make way for the important relationship, the one between two women?  Yes, teenage girls do develop crushes and flirt with boys, but these are side plots to the more crucial pathways their close friendships take.  Really, boys feel like they are on the side.

3.  There's not that much Dancing

I suppose that ABC Family, with all those weirdly popular "other planet" dance shows on the air (and Glee), thought the best way to market their show--one that is 90% talking and 10% dancing (at best)--was to make people think it was like all that other stuff out there.  It's NOT.  The last time I watched Glee it was on an airplane, and I thought to myself, this show is nothing but a bunch of song-and-dance numbers with the occasional line of dialogue to keep it together.  Well, think of Bunheads as its other planet opposite.

 
For a television show that takes place in a quirky goofball California town that centers on a dinky dance school, you'd expect much more dancing.  Instead, when there's dancing, it's a "Paper" vs. "Plastic" ballet with an evil checkout clerk in the lead, or The Nutcracker with "rats" filling in for "mice" and represented as Wall Street guys in suits.  And one cannot forget the fore-mentioned macing of the dance students mid-Nutcracker.  When they return to the stage, they are literally crawling around on the floor, blinded.  What's not to love?

4.  The Dialogue is Sharp, Sassy, and full of Pop Culture Goodness

Everyone has a hey-day--you know, a very formative period in terms of pop culture.  Mine was in the 80s, and so was Amy Sherman-Palladino's (she's a year older), so I just get her references...Yet she also channels 30s screwball comedies, Fred and Ginger movies, and worries about Khaleesi's dragons (GOT), while still sticking in an homage to Footloose, Heathers, and all the other good stuff floating around in the ether.  You know, stuff from OUR PLANET.  She even has Fred and Ginger do a quickie dance to a cover of the Muppets' "Rainbow Connection" and it did not make me want to puke.  Really.  And I've got a pretty hair-trigger gag reflex on most things.

So you might be thinking, legitimately at this point, Dark Iris, what planet are you on??  And for that matter, where is the darkness?  Well, it's true that I sometimes surf cuteroulette.  I am a closet mush-head.  But don't forget about the MACING.

So here's some idea of what planet I am on. You too may be a resident here, or visit on occasion.  These are some of the beloved shows that were canceled on me (in no particular order).  I still mourn their loss.

FIREFLY

Gina Torres as Zoe on Firefly

Yes, I'm a big Joss Whedon fan, and I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  He just changed the whole conversation when it came to women and horror.  I gave Angel a brief try, and struggled through all of Dollhouse, but nothing can touch Whedon's Sci-fi space western, with a cast of the strongest women action heroes ever to grace the television screen (and to graduate to the cinema with Serenity 2005), and a wicked combination of pathos and humor.  If you want to know how beloved this series is, their 10th year reunion at this year's Comic.con made its reunited cast, and all of its fans, cry buckets.  And the show didn't even last a season.

TWIN PEAKS

Speaking of game-changing television, David Lynch and Mark Frost's creepy dramedy about a nice little mill town in Washington State has no peer.  If you haven't seen this show, and you have a taste for the bizarre, then you have to visit with Agent Dale Cooper and try to uncover who killed Laura Palmer.  In the meantime, you'll encounter the log lady, the Black Lodge, The Red Room, Nadine's silent curtain runners, Waldo, Alfred, and the sick underbelly of small town life as only David Lynch can reveal it.  One of my absolute favorite moments, early on, occurs when Agent Cooper tweaks Sheriff Harry S. Truman's nose in the middle of their investigation.  Why?  Not sure, but it has endless rewatch potential.  Meep!

BETTER OFF TED

Sure, Portia de Rossi is amazing on Arrested Development, but she really and truly shines on Better Off Ted as Veronica, the executive in charge of the research & development (R & D) team at Veridian Dynamics.  Each episode always included a commercial or two for the giant conglomerate, emphasizing the company's soullessness in ever creative ways.  This show is even smarter than the British The Office, and that's saying something.  The show is named after Ted, and he contributes the voice-over or addresses the camera directly, but he has nothing on Phil and Lem, the brilliant creative team that grows fake food and creates a device that cryogenically preserves Phil, kind of.  As someone on IMDB succinctly asked, "Why the crap wasn't this show a massive hit??"  Why indeed.

PUSHING DAISIES

 
Only Bryan Fuller (Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me) could come up with a show where a young, handsome pie-maker can bring things back to life by touching them, but only for a minute, before someone or something drops dead in order to maintain balance.  Oh, and this handy skill allows Ned (Lee Pace) to not only bring back his murdered childhood neighbor, Anna Friel, but also allows him to solve crimes with the help of Chi McBride (who is awesome in everything).  The show also has Kristin Chenoweth and Swoosie Kurtz, and looks like one stepped into Wonderland or Oz, and then never saw a mirror or ruby slippers again.  And it's narrated by Jim Dale, who reads the audio versions of the Harry Potter books and contributes beautifully to this contemporary fairy tale. This show is the perfect mix of sweet on the outside, and dark on the inside.

THE MIDDLEMAN

Wendy Watson (Natalie Morales) is just an artist trying to pay the bills at an office temp job when she's attacked by a gigantic, slimy, multi-eyeballed creature.  She doesn't panic, and is then recruited by the titular Middleman (Matt Keeslar) to fight against all sorts of zany comic book evil.  This wonderful show full of pop culture references and deadpan humor debuted on ABC Family in 2008 and lasted a mere 12 episodes.  And really, this is the ultimate family show.  It's even anti-profanity!

Now do you see why I fear for Bunheads' health on the same network?  Welcome to my planet.