Remember when Dark Iris used to blog? Heh. Those days seem so long ago, before I was buried by a rampaging semester full of academic labor. I feel like I've fallen off the writing wagon, and I have to do everything in my power to get back on! So, here's day one of my quest to write a blog post EVERY DAY about a different horror film (with some creative stretching of the genre's boundaries at times). I cannot say that my posts will be that scintillating, or explore these films with the depth and attention they deserve, but whatever. This blog makes me happy, so I'm invested in keeping it going. As this month, October, is the ideal month for all things horror, and my birthday month, I'm going to copy some of my favorite horror sites and celebrate the month with style and flare, and create a list! Too bad I'm starting things off with such a crappy and disappointing film. **Some spoilers ahead, but I'll try to keep some of the film's secrets.
V/H/S is one of those oh-so-fashionable anthology films, like the rather cool Trick 'r Treat (2007) or the scary looking The Theater Bizarre (2011). I'm super-excited about The ABC's of Death (2012) consisting of 26 short films, many of them directed by women. Yes! But back to V/H/S (2012). None of its films are directed by women, and boy, can you tell. Multiple heavy sighs.
THE GOOD
After seeing so many found footage horror films post Paranormal Activity, one doesn't have a whole lot of patience for that genre, but The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger has some legitimate scares and quite the twist ending. Emily is maintaining a long distance relationship with her beau, James, via Skype, and she just happens to be haunted at the same time. Of course. This film hints at some "sick thing" that happened to Emily in her past, but never fully reveals what's happened (or is happening) until the short's final moments. The webcam gimmick actually works, and the viewer is only privy to what James seems to be seeing onscreen (which unfortunately truly aligns the spectator with a voyeuristic and sadistic male gaze). Emily not only believes that she's being haunted, but in rubbing and complaining about a lump in her arm, she's soon gouging a hole into it with an Exacto blade, creating some real YUK moments. Big surprise, Emily seems pretty crazy. Meanwhile, James, who happens to be studying to be a doctor, proves he's a really crummy boyfriend by not dropping everything and promptly showing up at her doorstep. He proves to be far worse than a mere crummy boyfriend, and the revelation about his character, and Emily's past includes surgery, babies, and aliens, oh my! I thought this short was at least surprising and clever, even though it featured the horrifying victimization of women and the exploitation of their terror at the mercy of some patriarchal a**hole. Notice that I've placed this analysis under the GOOD category. Mumblecore director Joe Swanberg does a decent job here, but that's not saying much.
10/31/98 focuses on a foursome of genuinely nice guys (a rarity for this film) on their way to a Halloween party. They are dressed in costume, good-humoredly tease each other, and do not assault, disparage, or insult women in this short. One of them has a nanny cam in their costume (as a giant, furry teddy bear) so we get to see the four of them wander through the house via crappy technology. To their surprise and dismay, no one seems to be at the party, but "weird things" start to occur that they attribute to an elaborate "haunted house" set-up created by their missing hosts. The men try to laugh off the scary things they see, all agreeing that the "stunts" sure are effective! When they stumble upon what appears to be a religiously based female sacrifice in the attic, the guys assume that it's all an act--until the fire-and-brimstone rednecks stab the poor woman in the gut. At first, they all flee, but then "fuzzy bear" decides to be a hero, and the rest follow suit, rescuing her while the evil rednecks are attacked by some unseen malevolent force. They hightail it out of there carrying the injured woman, and run to their car, all the while chased by the mysterious scary thing. Things do not end well, and I felt genuinely disappointed. They were good guys! Not like the rest of them. Ugh.
THE BAD
Women are evil creatures who will seduce you, deceive you, and then literally castrate you, don't you know? They'll either devour you because they like you (Amateur Night), murder you for kicks because they are secret lesbians (Second Honeymoon), or use you as bait in order to prove that they really aren't crazy and there is a psycho killer at camp blah, blah (Tuesday, the 17th). Also, I hope you like breasts, because they are exposed or obsessively gazed upon in every short in this anthology. Seriously.
And Ti West, what the heck were you thinking?? All the positive feelings I held toward the creator of the great House of the Devil (2009) and the not-as-great-but-not-bad The Innkeepers (2011) have since curdled after watching his Second Honeymoon short. Killer lesbians indeed.
AND THE UGLY
The technological aspects of the film are really quite contrived, with everyone always documenting their every move and moment. Yes, those characters who use the technology for lascivious or nefarious purposes often pay a steep price, but one has to sit through their rampant misogyny in order to witness their just desserts. Creepy Wendy tells her "friends" that they are all going to die on their camping trip, and each are attacked by some weird "video artifact" creature. She has brought them to the woods as bait to prove the killer is still out there. They all die, Wendy captures it on camera, and then she's gruesomely disemboweled. Nice.
The guys in Amateur Night equip their nerd friend with an eye-glasses camera, and then set up scenarios for him to voyeuristically observe. At one point, after bringing a drunk girl back to their hotel room, the disgusting Shane disappointingly realizes that having sex with an unconscious woman is not okay. So then he hits on Monster girl, who appropriately shreds him and his buddies. The misogyny of these scenes far outweighs the satisfaction one might get from seeing them all slaughtered, and female sexuality is once again vividly and graphically demonized.
The most egregious male behavior occurs in the film's bracketing narrative Tape 56, where a bunch of sexist jerks decide to put aside their money-making business of assaulting women and filming their terrified response as their clothes are ripped off in order to steal a valuable tape for some real money. The reasoning behind this caper is utterly preposterous, and the guys are picked off by some old guy one-by-one as they watch each tape--this collection of lovely snuff films that the viewer simultaneously watches with them. Almost every short in this anthology is insulting, repulsive, and reeks of hatred and fear toward women. I'm getting pissed off just thinking about this film.
So, one might ask, why am I blogging about this horrible and hateful film? Because I want to tell anyone thinking about renting or purchasing this film NOT TO DO SO!!! I still wish I could bring those 2 hours of my life back, but at least I have an object on which I can unload my feminist rage. Negative stars!
